Monday, June 21, 2010

I don't wanna go :(

i am verrry excited about the huge life changes i'm about to take on, but at the same time i'm feeling a stong sense of discomfort about leaving sam. i know that he will be fine and that the company will survive without me (sigh), but i couldn't help feeling a little resentful today as i read through the resumes of people applying for my job- i felt like no one was worthy of taking on my responsibilities hahah..... i know that is rediculous and i will find a suitable replacement but i guess a part of me doesn't want to recognize how disposable i am after i put so much energy into this position you know? we have people coming in for interviews tomorrow and i want to be like "are you willing to do ANYTHING you have to do for this job? sam is MEAN at first, do you really think you can TAKE IT?" i know i'm being silly but i can't help the way i feel! over the years i have developed a relationship with my boss that i value and i guess it hurts my feelings to know that in a few months he will be developing a relationship with a new assistant :(
i know this is all just part of life and jobs and shit but it's new to me. i guess it's nice though because it reminds me how young i am you know? sometimes i'm such a know-it-all and then a situation like this comes up and i realize how much i have to learn and how many life experiences lie ahead...... it's refreshing really. it's bittersweet.

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